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little paracosm
insignificant daydreams & the quaintest of feelings
12th-Dec-2012 08:13 pm - THIS BLOG IS NOW CLOSED
(Closed as of November 2012).
Twenty-two days. Well done. Gold star for effort. I don't really want to talk or think about it. I'll be right as rain in a bit.

I'm going to start up a new LiveJournal and Twitter over the weekend.

I'll see you all real soon.

16th-Sep-2012 11:04 pm - one, two, three - go!
Completed my third marathon today! It was my second Blackmores Marathon. It was so much better this year than last year, but it was still one of the most painful and difficult things I've ever done. Running is not so much a physical challenge as it is psychological. I've never hit a wall as horrible as the wall I hit today. 

My dad ran with me, like he did with the last two marathons because there's no way I'd be able to finish doing it by myself. We did the run in lots of 10km. The first 30 kilometres were really great! I felt so pumped doing them. I really thought I'd finish the entire 42km that pumped, but I hit 33km and suddenly, I had no energy at all - my legs were searing with pain, I was fatigued, I wanted to stop and curl into a ball and sleep. I was too light-headed when I stopped jogging, but it hurt too much to run, so I had to jog really, really slowly. 

blackmores marathon medallion 2012

At several points, I didn't think I'd finish at all. There was only 9km to go, and I had come so far, but the pain was so bad, and I was so tired. Managed to finish though! I even beat my personal best! 5 hours and 32 minutes! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR FINISHING. 

I am in absolute pain. Going to have to limp or cringe everywhere for the next week or so. 

Huge THANK YOU! to my dad, who planned out the speeds for me, gave me constant encouragement, ensured I kept my paces, and made sure I finished. I would not have finished without you.
15th-Sep-2012 06:57 pm - baby bangs (new hair!)
New hair! Baby bangs, undercut, black, blonde and purple. It's completely different to anything I've ever done, and it looks weird and I love it. It's really, really fun. I bought two braided headbands (one blonde, one black) from the Gloss at Town Hall station. IT'S CUTE EVEN WITH A HEADBAND. I LOVE YOU, WEIRD HAIRSTYLE.

new hair september 2012

Might get the Captain America wing tattooed where the undercut is, in a month or so. Going to sit on that idea for a bit because $$$. 

Can't wait for the three-day outgrowth and for my fringe to settle into its new shape. My hair is still little confused about the change in parting. It kind of looks like I'm wearing a permanent hat, which is cool too. IDK. I really like it because of how different it is. 

13th-Sep-2012 11:44 am - Keep Calm! at the Disco
Fun dream last night. As usual, no names, just initials, because it's not the real them. It's not a big stretch to figure out who everyone is, anyway.

AC was having his 21st at a really expensive restaurant all the way out in Canberra, so a bunch of us were trying to figure out transport. I was walking by the Wentworth lawns with MT and talking to her about whether she was taking the train or driving. It was an overnight trip, so I was telling her I could take the train, but I'd prefer to drive because it'd probably end late and I didn't want to have to leave early.

"AC is staying the night with his [high-school] friends. I could ask if I could stay with them. That would be handy - no rush, and no need to be sleepy on the drive home or anything. I mean, I have relatives in Canberra, but I don't know how okay they'd be with me bringing SL and sharing a room, so I'd rather not."

JY was suddenly there too, and she frowned, "Well, why don't you ask AC if you can stay with them?"

"Yeah," I started, hesitantly, "but I don't want to crash their slumber party. They didn't invite me. I don't even know if they like me."

"Sweetie, who cares if they like you or not? All you need is a space on the floor to sleep. Just ask him," JY shrugged, as though I was being dumb about the whole thing. "It's AC. Who cares if he says no?"

"Yeah," I nodded, more to myself than anything else. JY is full of wisdom, as always.  "Yeah, okay."
Don't remember if I actually ended up asking AC if I could crash with them or not. MT was taking the train, and I really liked the idea of taking it with her (roadtrips are fun but long train-rides with friends are fun too!), so I ended up deciding I'd just leave whenever she left and take the train back to Central with her.

It was an old country train, with the khaki-green comfy seats and everything. We sat facing each other, catching up as we watched the scenery. It was so lovely. I'd missed her (I miss her) so much. The three hours went by so quickly, I was almost sad we arrived.

It was night by the time we got there. Somehow we were in our fancy dresses already (good dream editing there, subconscious, skipping all the boring parts). We were in Canberra, but the party was in a room that looked just like Potts Hall from my old high-school.

AC was in a suit with a white bow-tie, white scarf and a top-hat, like The Doctor in the end of season five (totally only noticed that now, oops). He hugged me, then MT, and they were talking. I wandered off because I was looking for someone else but I couldn't for the life of me remember who it was.

The longer the night went on, the more frustrated I got. My heart was set to vibrate. I was starting to sweat and feel dizzy. My stomach hurt so badly, I stumbled off to the bathroom and just kind of sat there with my hands on my stomach, cringing through the pain.

By the time I came back outside, there was music playing, the lights had dimmed and there were pink, green and yellow lights everywhere. It was really cool, and I could see why AC dragged us all the way out to Canberra for it. It was kind of like prom night meets Amy/Rory's wedding after-party.

Ugh, and this is where it gets super cheesy, but it is totally not my fault (except it totally is).

I kind of continued my wander through the crowd, except after that, I think I knew who I was looking for. I must have because for some reason I knew they were in the room. I saw SL talking to a couple of people but he spotted me straight away and he visibly brightened.

I thought, "Oh, hey, it was you I was looking for that whole time. I don't know how I forgot that. Stupid of me."

Just like that, my heart slowed, my skin cooled and the knots in my stomach untangled. I dodged the people in the crowd, probably less careful than was polite, a little more harried than dignified, but for some reason it was incredibly important that I hug SL immediately, so I did, and I was so happy I started shaking and crying and he was laughing at me for being so ridiculous but I was honestly that happy that I couldn't stop. I kept mumbling apologies for getting his suit wet but he just  wiped my face dry and looked down at me and smiled. We pressed our foreheads together and laughed at how sappy we were being.

JY came up to us (she was in a cream, short dress with a black collar and it was adorable), and she must have totally missed our dramatic reunion because she had a cocktail in one hand and when SL and I pulled apart, she just threw her arm around my shoulder and said, "Hey! I was wondering where you guys were! Seriously, SK, you have to try one of these. I don't know what's in them but they're good." I think she may have been slightly tipsy already because she had her obnoxious drunk voice on. I glanced over to where AC and MT were dancing with a few other people. SL tangled our hands and pressed his shoulder to mine, the way I always do to him but never expect him to in return.

I just smiled.

I don't know. It was a really great night - even if it didn't actually happen, it's kind of like Total Recall; the memory felt real enough that I can pretend it did. I had so much fun in that dream. I miss having everyone together, and I'm missing everyone constantly.

@msjenyip is going away for a bit for leisure and for business. I haven't hung out with @Fallenmirage23 in ages. It's been an unbelievably long time since I've seen !manuela. And yeah, it's absolutely ridiculous how much I miss @siddlaha.

But I think it's really nice, having people in your life that you love so much that you miss them when you're not with them. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I'm lucky enough to have in my life - even the ones I can not see for ages? I do miss them when they're not around. And when they are around, it feels like all the pieces are in place and everything is as it's supposed to be.

I'd apologise for this being so sappy but I don't care. Let me wallow in my marshmallow friends and how sweet they make my veins. I've had my share of Cornflake friends and now that I've got Lucky Charms with motherfucking marshmallows, YOU ARE NOT TAKING THAT AWAY FROM ME.
11th-Sep-2012 08:26 pm - find itch, scratch.
I don't like standing still. Staying in the same place feels like a waste of time when I could be going somewhere. The idea of staying the same for an extended period of time disturbs me - makes me feel distinctly uncomfortable. I think that's why I change my hair so frequently or get myself inked or something pierced; it makes me feel like there's physical proof that I'm changing. 

I feel restless and inadequate.
9th-Sep-2012 07:25 pm - One True Pizza
collective: social
Had vegetarian Loki/Thor pizza at Svens Viking Pizza with @kiyala yesterday! It was our second visit to Svens and it was amazing. I was worried I wouldn't like the Loki pizza because it was just rocket and parmesan but Svens are really good at what they do; the pizza was delicious.

We made the most ridiculous innuendos while we ate, such as: "Kii can't speak as her mouth is full of Thor." and "Kii is too full of Loki. SHE CAN'T FIT ANYMORE.", and "My hands are greasy with Thor and Loki juices." It was such marvellous fun (see what I did there?). 

CAN'T WAIT TO GO AGAIN! They should open one of these on Asgard.
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